Prologue

With my keen insight and analytical bent, I have come to the conclusion that death is inevitable. Being specific, I am of course referring to my own demise which I have calculated as being a real possibility within the next 3 decades if not sooner.

With that in mind, I have set about recording my life story & profound wisdom so that the masses can profit from my having been here on planet earth for fifty eight years & counting.

When I say the masses, I am actually hoping my children will in the very least want to peruse my musings at length. And not only my children but my children’s children & if it isn’t too much to ask that my children’s children’s children may also have an interest in what I said & done.

I was born in the land of Eng, in the year of our Lord one thousand, nine hundred and sixty three. This period of time was known as the swinging sixties. I arrived as the 7th & final child of my mother Martha Smith & the 6th of 8 children of my father Gordon Russell Manning.

For some unknown reason, I was not delivered at the QEII Hospital but at home in the team Valley in Gateshead. As of this date, there is no plaque outside the house to proclaim the honour & prestige of it being my first humble abode (this oversight MUST be rectified in the future).

I have been reliably informed that this event was celebrated throughout the nation or at least by those in close proximity to the street where I had arrived. My Father commemorated this wonderful event by giving those who turned up, a packet of Cheese and Onion crisps, and a small bottle of Dandelion and Burdock this being my preferred liquid refreshment.

Like Harry Potter, I too was a boy who lived but not happy ever but we will get to that later.

• Date: 02 Mar 22 aged 58½
• Updated: 26 January, 2024. Aged 60